31 Jan 2005 @ 5:08 PM 

german reality television producers are on a quest to find the most virile man. in Sperm Race, 12 donors will compete to see who has the world’s fastest sperm.

however, no human egg will be fertilized in this historic event. instead, samples will be placed in a test tube with a chemical substance nearly identical to that of a human egg. and to make sure that there is no funny business with the sperm, a team of doctors will be standing by. add lights, cameras, marketing, and bloggers and you have a race!

the one who comes in first the owner of the sperm to “fertilize the egg” will be awarded a shiny, new, red porsche. undoubtedly, the victor, with newfound fame and red porsche, will be making many more donations.

details were not released as to how much footage of the pre-race warmup will be aired on television. i suspect that will be saved for the unrated-dvd-box-set which will be on store shelves in time for christmas. perhaps mtv is developing their own series - “the real sperm”.

you can read more about Sperm Race here.

apparently increasing numbers of german men suffer from poor sperm. i wonder why.

Tags Categories: Funny Posted By: amarfresh
Last Edit: 09 May 2005 @ 05 36 PM

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 31 Jan 2005 @ 2:52 AM 
someone sent me the following email. i decided to post it below.

You know you’re living in 2005 when…

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.

7. You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial “9″ to get an outside line.

8. You’ve sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.

10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o’clock news.

11. Your boss doesn’t have! the ability to do your job.

12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.

13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of

the> screen.

14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

15. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

:)

17. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

19. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

20. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list.

AND NOW YOU’RE LAUGHING at yourself. Go on, forward this …you know you want to!.

amazing isn’t it. let me know if you know the origins of this email.

Tags Categories: Funny Posted By: amarfresh
Last Edit: 09 May 2005 @ 05 36 PM

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 27 Jan 2005 @ 11:24 PM 
yeah that’s right. first.
Tags Categories: Miscellany Posted By: amarfresh
Last Edit: 31 Jan 2005 @ 03 27 AM

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 11 Jan 2005 @ 4:38 PM 

my good friend and confidant james mikusi writes about ClamAV in the latest SysAdmin:

In the spirit of the Unix philosophy, Doug McIlroy said, “Write programs that do one thing and do it well. Write programs to work together.” ClamAV demonstrates just how effective this model continues to be. The ClamAV engine simply filters any input given and outputs a basic summary stating whether a virus was detected. This simplicity makes it appropriate for scanning content on a local file system, network file system, Web proxy, mail gateway, or whatever. Simply send it input and get a yes/no result.

More »

Tags Categories: Linux, Technology Posted By: amarfresh
Last Edit: 02 May 2005 @ 12 56 PM

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 10 Jan 2005 @ 1:07 AM 

bailey at 4 weeks.

Tags Categories: Personal Posted By: amarfresh
Last Edit: 28 Apr 2005 @ 11 30 PM

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